Tri-Valley Writers: Hilarity Ensued

I went to my first ever monthly meeting for the Tri-Valley Writers. There was a presentation from author Penny Warner. I honestly wasn't sure what to expect being one of the youngest people in the room. She was introduced with professionalism and thanked for coming to speak on short notice as the person who was originally scheduled to speak had a family emergency.

And then she hit us.

"I'm usually the substitute speaker, never called on to be the primary speaker." Ms. Warner said. There were awkward laughs. Then: "Although I do usually get asked to speak at funerals." She kept delivering her punches with precision; I wish that I could remember them all.

She felt so comfortable talking to the group. "Take it to the extreme" was her advice. She had me laughing and wondering how I could incorporate her advice into my writing.

Ms. Warner also had us use one of her 20 writing prompts to come up with something funny.

Here's mine:

Top Ten Ways to Annoy Your Veterinary Staff

10. Pay the bill after arguing everything on the tab.
9. Bring in the cute little Tortie in an old ratty pillow case.
8. "But Google says...."
7. "My breeder disagrees with you."
6. "Killer just growls. He won't bite you, I swear."
5. "Can't I just do that myself at home?"
4. "Can I hold Kujo for you while you draw blood?"
3. "Boy, that's expensive. Do you think I can get this done cheaper anywhere else?"
2. "You know, I can just get another one at the pound for forty bucks."
and the most offensive #1 quote we in veterinary field have heard:
1. "....Or I could just take him home and shoot him to put him out of his misery."

I may have shocked those in the room that don't work in the field. I guess I did take it to the extreme.

Thank you Ms. Warner for letting me have fun at my first meeting. I'm looking forward to attending some more.

Check out their websites here: Tri-Valley Writers and Penny Warner